Sunday, May 27, 2012

when the big winds come i don't want to blow away

today, because i just spent 20 minutes too long looking at people's holiday weekend vacation pictures on facebook, i am thinking about substance and weight, and why, after only 20 minutes, i feel less than before.

before i go any further (farther?), let's be clear about one thing. the problem isn't facebook or pintrest or twitter or blogs. the problem is that i haven't found a way to come out of these specific internets right side up and sure of who i am. 

i wish it wasn't so tempting to be paper thin, and i don't just mean physically. i mean the rewards for substance can be hard to find, which i guess is the point. if it weren't so tempting, life would be easy, and i would get what i thought i wanted by default.

life wears on me and i start to give in, start to drift, start to fade and lift. then i say a small NO and the word drops like a rock in my pocket, bringing me that much closer to the ground.

i will be me.

and if words aren't your thing, this song describes how i feel about it.

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