snow what?

so I complain about the weather and how it goes split shady on me, but I'm kind of the same way I think. One minute sunshine and the next rain. Not moody, just well-rounded. A four-season type of girl.

If

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight, --
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Thing would seem fair, --
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We couldn't be we.

e.e. cummings


I sure do love this peom. I just found it in an ambitious Saturday move--cleaning not only my room but my file cabinet too! Bravo me....

interesting file cabinet finds: a typed and very anonymous french poem that I can't understand anymore, a stack of letters larger than I remembered from a missionary who really wasn't my missionary and who really didn't write very interesting letters (especially since I never even saw him post-mish; and isn't it interesting how the future colors the past because had he been in my life, the letters would be a keepsake instead of on their way to the dump), a bunch of discs containing work from my first two years of college that are now obsolete (luckily I don't think I wised up till later on in my career, if at all), several papers also dated first two years of college on which I didn't get very good grades (see previous parantheses, and who saves papers they didn't ace?! Burn the evidence!), playbills and ticket stubs and proof of entrance to every cultural event I have attended since purchasing said file cabinet six years ago.

Needless to say, my nordstrom rack bag backing up my full garbage can is sagging. I feel sorry for the "waste" I produce, and while I'm on the topic, how about garbage cans labeled "WASTE"? Is that an invitation? "THANKS" seems much more appropriate and motivating.

So why now? Why today was I finally able to toss these gems I've been preserving for years? I should have waited until after the Monday dump pickup to write this, since I'm currently persuading myself without much effort to reclaim all my junk from the trash, and while I'm on the topic, isn't it funny that we persuade ourselves to do things...very Gollum/Smeagolish of us.

One last observation. I have been accused of not being self-indulgent in the past, with reference to my childhood rationing of candy, or--well, that's really the only reference--but I have two very indulgent behaviors. When I find a song I like, I will listen to it non-stop until I am sick of it which is usually a week or so. Even knowing the song will be ruined ever more because of the habit, I go ahead and hit rewind. rewind. rewind. Current fave: "I want to hold your hand" from the Across the Universe soundtrack. It's probably played 10 times during this post. The second indulgent behavior is just a modification of the first. When I find a movie I like...and you know the rest. Example-- I saw Step Up 2:The Streets three times in the theater in the past week. I'm not that concerned about ruining that movie for life though, destined as it is to be a classic for our day.

who knew I was so wordy? well, i guess i did, but it still always surprises me.

the desert

i've been down south. i've been where the rock seems more alive than the brush, where the air smells like sweetness and sand and scorching, where man's history is young but earth's is wise and proud...

"If you're going to live in Utah, you've got to get over the color green."

--Wallace Stegner

If I were to sketch my soul it would look like the desert, paradoxically abundant and sparse.

Daddy says I'm a flibberty-gibbet...don't tell me anything

I'm back in the light of open-to-the-random-joe-down-the-street-or-in-kalamazoo blogging. or bloffing* as I now like to call it (*not a CC original).   I went private and I rather liked it; I just wanted to emerge for a moment to let you know that if you want to be invited to my blof, no prob.  Happy to have you.  Even if I don't know you.  I share the same spirit as a landmark socialite of our day: "And may I remind you--it does NOT say R.S.V.P. on the statue of liberty!"  

so just email me your gmail address at zanzi22@yahoo.com.  that's all it would take.  I think this is vain, inviting people to view my blof, as though its a privilege or something.  But I figure if you're reading this now...you might want to keep reading it.  Maybe.  

On to the news.  

new pet-peeve: people who come into work and say, "Hey I know you're closed but can I place an order?" or "Hey I know you don't take drop-ins, but can I drop-in?" or "Hey I know you can't do this, but will you? For me? Just this once?"  Basic formula= state policy, ask to be exception.  ANNOYING.  really ANNOYING.  Throw in a large dose of entitlement, some dinero, a degree of impatience and you've got a great situation.  Some people try to act clueless, thinking it will go over better: "So your sign said Closed.  All the lights were off, but I still tried the door and you're still sitting here.  Does that mean I can't pick up my pictures?" ARGGGH.

new fave brekky: banana wraps.  wheat tortilla, peanut butter, vanilla yogurt, kashi, bananas, honey. yums in the tums.

new realization: I cannot avoid growing up.  I can be immature for the rest of my life, never own a car, or a computer, or a dwelling place, never take responsibility for things like my taxes and my health care...and it still won't change the fact that minute by minute I'm aging.  What to do?

new pet-peeve (new since I typed the last one): telephone customer service reps.  there's a double meaning in that--both customer service reps for telephone companies and customer service reps for all other products working via phone.  Especially Comcast and D-Link. Are those guys even human? 

new fave old joke: hey 1989 called--it wants its skis back. (said by random ski-lift rider to my sister.  he was right, but DI got there first.)

new season: SPRING SPRING SPRING!

Tributin' in my sleep

Something weird is happening. Top Ramen keeps popping up in my dreams. This is not a joke. I can be dreaming about Africa or snow skiing or world war and it will find a way in. It's like a really bad commercial, over and over. Not that I'm necessarily aware of it during my dreams. No, it's during the light of day, when I'm thinking about what to eat, and I think, "hmm Top Ramen sounds tasty" that the dreams come back to me. Example. Here's the conversation I had with myself today:

Me: maybe I should go to the store to get some food for lunch and dinner.

Me: no, I'll just have Top Ramen.

Me: I don't have any Top Ramen. It's all gone. I'm trying to quit.

Me: Yes, I do. It's right behind the counter...

and then a look behind the counter confirms--NO TOP RAMEN. It was just a dream. who puts Top Ramen behind the counter anyway, except in dreams?

So, the concerning part is what does it all mean? I'm pretty sure even Carl Jung himself would be stumped to deconstruct this modern archetype. Advise me, oh blogreaders.

lessons from work

Be advised, these are not lessons from doing actual work...but lessons from being at work, aka at my workplace.

1. Every mother really does think she has the cutest baby. Really. True fact. I'm being serious here. Think about it: the implications of this are mind-boggling. To protect the innocent, I can say no more. ("Please, say no more.")

2. You can't make a chevy into a porsche. You can always dream. (or go to the gym.)

3. There's no accounting for taste.

4. No matter how often you forget, licking more than one envelope closed is always a bad idea. Gross.

5. Eating nothing but candy + Not drinking water = one heckofa headache

Ah, I have learned much, and much more than I can share here. These are just highlights.