If

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight, --
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Thing would seem fair, --
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We couldn't be we.

e.e. cummings


I sure do love this peom. I just found it in an ambitious Saturday move--cleaning not only my room but my file cabinet too! Bravo me....

interesting file cabinet finds: a typed and very anonymous french poem that I can't understand anymore, a stack of letters larger than I remembered from a missionary who really wasn't my missionary and who really didn't write very interesting letters (especially since I never even saw him post-mish; and isn't it interesting how the future colors the past because had he been in my life, the letters would be a keepsake instead of on their way to the dump), a bunch of discs containing work from my first two years of college that are now obsolete (luckily I don't think I wised up till later on in my career, if at all), several papers also dated first two years of college on which I didn't get very good grades (see previous parantheses, and who saves papers they didn't ace?! Burn the evidence!), playbills and ticket stubs and proof of entrance to every cultural event I have attended since purchasing said file cabinet six years ago.

Needless to say, my nordstrom rack bag backing up my full garbage can is sagging. I feel sorry for the "waste" I produce, and while I'm on the topic, how about garbage cans labeled "WASTE"? Is that an invitation? "THANKS" seems much more appropriate and motivating.

So why now? Why today was I finally able to toss these gems I've been preserving for years? I should have waited until after the Monday dump pickup to write this, since I'm currently persuading myself without much effort to reclaim all my junk from the trash, and while I'm on the topic, isn't it funny that we persuade ourselves to do things...very Gollum/Smeagolish of us.

One last observation. I have been accused of not being self-indulgent in the past, with reference to my childhood rationing of candy, or--well, that's really the only reference--but I have two very indulgent behaviors. When I find a song I like, I will listen to it non-stop until I am sick of it which is usually a week or so. Even knowing the song will be ruined ever more because of the habit, I go ahead and hit rewind. rewind. rewind. Current fave: "I want to hold your hand" from the Across the Universe soundtrack. It's probably played 10 times during this post. The second indulgent behavior is just a modification of the first. When I find a movie I like...and you know the rest. Example-- I saw Step Up 2:The Streets three times in the theater in the past week. I'm not that concerned about ruining that movie for life though, destined as it is to be a classic for our day.

who knew I was so wordy? well, i guess i did, but it still always surprises me.