your life is your masterpiece

i saw the trailer for this movie a while back, and i had a pretty strong feeling it was gonna be good. people, it was good. i don't like to endorse movies or political candidates, so only go see it if your heart tells you it's right. if your heart does tell you that, and you want someone in the seat next to you, give me a ring. i'll see it a thousand more times.

maybe i loved it because of the colors and sounds and because it made me feel like i was in india, which is where i'd like to go if i was tenacious enough.

maybe i loved it because it just continued the message the universe has been shouting at me, which is "your life is your masterpiece. don't be afraid of it. don't run away from it. your choice is your power, and happiness is your choice."

i've been sliding on the surface of time lately, projecting myself into the future to see how different choices might feel in thirty years, and here's what i've come up with. i will love my life no matter what because i have chosen it, have made it, have put my stamp on each minute i stand on. i'm slowly giving up the idea of one right path and exchanging it with the idea of the path i chose and the paths i didn't. to live would be gift enough, but to have that life as my own mortal playground, my own canvas, my own extraordinary experiment of love------------- 

Have courage and clear goals and you will win over life

i just read something stunning. please read it here (on one of the coolest sites i've ever encountered.)

here's one of many favorite parts:

"But in order to be a truly positive person in all circumstances, one has to learn how to distinguish real gold from tinsel. It is hard, because tinsel sometimes glitters so dazzlingly. I confess, my child, that often in my life I was dazzled by glitter. And sometimes it even shone so falsely, that one dropped pure gold from one's hand and reached for, or ran after, false gold."

mercy

i love learning about the connection between our memories and our bodies and our hearts (i mean the mysterious emotional heart, not the physical one.) just the other day, my dear c told me how she simply cannot remember events during a very painful period of her life. and there's the story of the cambodian women who lost their sight because of the emotional trauma of the khmer rouge. as one woman explained, "when I am happy I see better."

right after my mom died, i felt like i couldn't remember her before she was sick, almost like the past had been engulfed in a heavy fog. i wanted to remember the smallest details, the most mundane motherliness, but couldn't.

as an unexpected gift, the fog over my memory seems to be cracking and glimpses surface almost every day.

like how she called the weepies the weeblies, not to be funny but because she really thought that was the band name.

like how she power-walked from the best western hotel to the shakespeare festival, on those golden summer nights when the future still kept itself hidden.

like how she lingered, laughing, in magenta linen, when we ate salmon and uncle ben's wild rice in the backyard.

like how she seemed to be moving doing reading calling cooking all the time, except when she was with us, and then there were fewer places to be.

and how she didn't smell like the pines and dirt i smelled on my bike ride today, but still, it reminded me of her.

it is so much better to have the people we love with us, before our faces and in our arms. that is mercy.

but if and when we must be apart, it is mercy too to briefly forget, and then for the rest of time, be allowed to remember.

okay, fall

anybody else ready for things to start dying?

i've been doing some soul searching

went to sister's house tonight and she played me this song. this song is an old friend; it's been with me at every major crossroad in my life, and it is always as true as the last time. i don't know if there's ever been a song that has so completely expressed my thoughts.



thanks sister.

where i learn about my religion

so i was preparing a little message for family home evening, and since we're having a talent show i thought it'd be real swell to talk about talents. i thought of some scriptures, i thought of some hymns, and then i thought of this:



so great. so true. and that's my message in a nutshell.

i count myself overblessed with too much happy

while i can't help but wish there were a kid or two on that wall who looked a little more like me, i'm one proud aunt. more and more, these wildkidya's are the highlight of my vacations. doesn't the future look bright?