still thinking about lincoln

Gettysburg Address from Adam Gault on Vimeo.

when enough is enough

it's something about my time of life, maybe, but i keep wanting God to reach down and touch my life with a lightening bolt, a shout, a parting of the red sea days with a path to my promised land. have you noticed that when you are listening for something really loud, it's hard to hear something really soft? lazy ears. tonight i heard a song with these words as lyrics:

BE LIKE THE BIRD  

Be like the bird that, pausing in her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her -- and sings -- knowing she hath wings. 

from Victor Hugo

isn't that lovely? somehow it penetrated and was my whisper, my enough.  

 

so this is christmas

i'm sitting in front of my half-lit christmas tree, which, of course, means i'm overly nostalgic and sentimental. which, of course, means it's time to blog! i don't have much to say tonight. just this: i never thought i'd be here, hesitantly buying a few throwaway christmas ornaments, using a blanket as a tree skirt (where is that dirty ol blanket i used last year?), making transience my tradition. someday someday someday i'll settle. christmas is christmas though. it's really hard to mess it up with the Son of God, love's pure light shining so bright. i'm thinking about why this moment matters to me, and i don't think it needs to mean any more than a celebration of the things that never change and the things that always do.

if these songs come on, i might not change the radio station

remembering i still have my momma's love

(thanks jan for the song)

you're a legend dave

chuch made this little vid. so awesome i had to share it. no idea what he's talking about but i love his accent. and the little gulp at the end.

my word is my bond

and my name is my passport.

recently, i've been trying to do something hard, and i'll give you a hint: it's a kind of letting go. it's hard because i don't want to do it and because my heart muscles are wired to do it and because i am surrounded by small things that weaken my resolve to do it. those small things are so sneaky. they say, hey, i'm not that thing you're trying not to do! don't worry about it! you're strong! you can hang out here with me until your defenses are almost done for, and then i'll send you back to that big thing so it can deliver the penetrating blow.

i haven't been very successful at doing this hard thing, and then i realized why: i'm not committed to not doing the small things. (so many nots! sorry.)

i decided to take things up a notch and tell somebody important (God) that i was absolutely no way going to do those small things anymore, and it totally worked.

isn't that enough to make mortality rad?

(typing this post reminded me of this great TED talk on commitment devices and making choices. check it out.)