insomnia

it's not that i can't sleep, really. it's more that my productivity increases exponentially as the hours drop past midnight and i need to be productive every once in a while because it's good for my self-esteem.

that i am productive late at night does not mean i'm totally coherent (and maybe i'll be sobbing a different story tomorrow when i read over tonight's work and find a jumbled mess that's only fit for the scrap pile.) to an incoherent mind, the previous paragraph could be construed as bragging. look at me, always posting in the middle of the night just to show how cool i am. and so so productive. ha ha ha, you wimps, sleeping like babies. (not really, of course, but i'm dying to use the movie quote that comes later, so i have to stretch a little bit here.)

there has been discussion among the roommates lately about traits that we have no control over being perceived as gifts. example: lindsay praises eve for her ability to feel deeply and eve praises lindsay for her ability to go to sleep early. and no one praises my ability to stay up really really late.

and the anticipated movie quote:
"i can't believe you're bringing this up right now. it's like those people who brag because they're tall."

in other words, lindsay would like to stay awake past 11, eve would like to contain her emotions, and i'd like to be on the same schedule as normal people instead of nightshift watchmen. what's a girl to do who gets her best work done in the middle of the night? sleep the day away? enroll in online classes? trade the sun in for 24 hour tanning beds? (not for looking good, of course, but for health purposes.) or continue to pass days operating at 45% focus, taking one hour to grade a paper when it should take 10 minutes? what's a girl to do?

ps i wanted to write a post about how if i tweeted, i would have broadcasted to the world last night, "i'm eating soggy cereal with a fork." (because i was, in fact, eating soggy cereal with a fork.) the post would have made an argument for why this tweet would be acceptable in my eyes because it's actually a commentary on the current social/cultural/political context, which would have made it unacceptable in the tweeting world by nature of its gravity. but then i remembered lindsay's post that implicated me as being too dependent on the web and thought better of it.

i shouldn't disparage twitter just because the majority of what takes place there is silly. forgive me.