Thursday, September 16, 2010

'courage is if you knew where there were some mountains, you would definitely climb them.'

once my sister marie gave me just the book i needed.  i found it the other day, and it was just the book i needed again.  only i know where some mountains are, and they've always been there, and i still haven't climbed them.  cheers to another day, one with more guts!

here is something i find ironic.  i hate change in the world outside me* but i love love love change inside me.  i think this has something to do with change in the world feeling like loss and change within me feeling like triumph.  even when the change in the world brings goodness--my niece and nephews growing up, for example--it feels like something goes that doesn't come back again.  there are few parts of me that i guess i wouldn't like to lose, but pretty much everything else is negotiable.  i want to be someone that i'm not yet.  doesn't everybody want to be someone, to be someone? 

*the only exception is seasons because they go round and round and round. 

5 comments:

emi. said...

oh but the seasons always feel like loss to me. i need to work on that one. more than anything else i wish the earth would stop spinning.

Kate said...

me myself i've got nothing to prove. and i think i need to go buy that book today:)

kathy w. said...

Loss and triumph: EXACTLY the way to describe those two different kinds of changes. I wish I'd figured out how to say this a long time ago. Thanks.

cait & darren mower said...

mm well put my dear. to be someone. love you

Lindsay Johnson said...

i don't think i ever told you how much i love this book. I secretly looked for it a few times under your bed only to find that you had taken it home to slc. i definitely need to get my own copy.