2010: a retrospective; or: "the year my haircuts weren't as bad as i thought"

i have a weird brain.  (i'm sure you all have weird brains too, but sadly, i can only vouch for myself.  someday, technology will stop messing around with ipads and figure out how to send civilians to the new frontier: the human mind...of someone else. but until then, there's only one view.)  anyway, as i tossed and turned tonight because my newly resolved bedtime is like four hours before i'm even close to tired, i realized that we're on the upswing again. 

if you've spent even five minutes reading my blog, you know i'm a seasonal and circular girl.  my life is a pile of rounds stacked on top of each other, not a line blurring into the future like a heat mirage.  every year is a new circle.  january 1 is at the bottom, and frtmdkdsja is at the top. (i'm a little fuzzy about what is at the top.)  technically, i guess my life would have to be a pile of ovals, because circles don't have tops and bottoms since every point is equidistant (right? anybody?), but it's not that important.  all that matters is that new years starts the life half of the year, and some point in summer (maybe my birthday) starts the death half.  i know it's still a long way off, and i'm the last person to send the snow away early, but i did dream of spring for a minute tonight, and even summer. that's what it means to be on the upswing. 

i really like commemorating chunks of time and figuring out what was awesome or unique or learnworthy about them, so i can't pass up the chance to shout out to 2010, especially since it was such an important year partly because I:

• spent a month camping and relearning beauty.  
• lived my first summer in provo.
• found yoga (thanks lj).
• loved a lot.
• got published.
• discovered prayer.
• discovered revision. 
• became a goal-setter.
• "moved out on my own." sort of.
• gave up tv.
• traveled near, which is sometimes better than far.
• lost some big things and learned better to let go.
• still didn't graduate. tried to be ok with it.
• remembered how to reach for things. 
• forgot. remembered again.
• partied at weddings of people i love.
• tried doing some adult things (conferences, responsibility, jobs, prioritizing), but still never made it to the doctor.
• loved my age.
• was changed fundamentally.

  life has all loveliness to sell, remember?

(i've been thinking about that whole upswing/downturn thing, and i recognize that i was just poorly describing solstice.  resolved 2011: i will do a better job celebrating solstice.)