Wednesday, February 23, 2011

or am i dancer?

sometimes i feel like i don't get people.  like, people in general and people in specific.  like, every conversation, every interaction, every imagining of conversations and interactions that don't actually happen.  sometimes i can't stop asking myself: should i have said something different?  are we understanding each other?  do the meanings i attach to my words survive the flight from my mouth to those ears? 

i want so badly to get people.  i want to know the right things to say.  i want to catch the slight jokes and be able to tell when someone is laughing at me and when someone's not. 

on the one hand, i think i shouldn't care so much.  all this sideways glancing is juvenile or representative of insecurity.  on the other hand, i think, what else matters?  

doesn't it seem like it should be easier to understand creatures that are so like me?

1 comment:

Emily Jane Blewitt said...

I feel the same way Cath. I get so perturbed when I talk to someone and they seem like they totally understand and then when they rephrase what I said, it is not at all the same. There are few people who I think actually understand the meaning within the words that come out of my mouth. So I am dancer :)