i would be okay if it started snowing november 1 and did not stop until march 1. maybe even later. i would be happy if my door was snowed in every once in a while and i had to climb out a window and slide down a drift to the sidewalk. i would give up every pair of shoes i love to wear clunky boots all the time, if it meant deep deep snow.
i am not a "just snow in the mountains" type of girl, though that is clearly better than nothing. i am a five-miles-per-hour on the highway and no-school and flash-of-snow-plow-lights-down-the-street type of girl.
i believe in weather that inconveniences. i believe in gray skies. i think i have reverse SADS because when it stops snowing, my heart drops. in fact, my heart drops the minute it starts snowing because i know that the thing i love must end. so, would it be better for my heart if it never snowed? you may be thinking, "duh, totally better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." what if, though, losing wasn't just a possibility or risk but a guarantee? if every time you loved, you lost? every time?
where did i get the expectation that i should have everything at once, forever? marie? jane? fess up.
in other news, we took the annual christmas tree hunting trip to fremont.
i might have an address on this street someday, if i get lucky. come visit. here is kingfish doing his thing at fish lake.
3 comments:
You are so awesome. You would not do too well living here in CA permanently though...it is raining now, but no snow here. Like, ever. You know.
I may have snow this Christmastime up in Washington - and you are inspiring me, giving me hope that someday if I end up living where it snows, it might not be too bad.
I like when people are passionate about weather. I'm a drive-to-the-mountains-to-see-the-snow kinda girl. I like rain though. I like running from the car to the store because there are huge drops of rain falling. I like sitting at home by the window hearing the rain on the roof and seeing the rain fall in streaks down the window. I like gray skies and clouds. Maybe we're products of where we grew up...
Hmm- it seems there's a disincentive to think about the world if it results in the conclusion that losing is reasonably certain each time you love. In the case where only loss is certain to result from having loved, I think it'd probably be better to not have loved/cared. I blogged about a related concept in "it pays to be stupid/naive..." (http://bradcarmack.blogspot.com/2010/01/it-pays-to-be-stupidnaiveignorant.html). It's only better to have loved and lost where losing is a risk but not a guarantee: otherwise it's just pain/loss, which is bad. This is a similar argument to some about physician-assisted suicide where in some very narrow circumstances (where continued life is certain to contain only extreme suffering, among other factors) it seems permissible, though not obligatory, to exercise control of one's destiny by choosing when to die. (see 130-131 of Glannon's "Medical decisions at the end of life"). Also relevant is Zimbardo's conversation about ceasing to try when consistently failing to achieve intended results (see "A very bad wizard: morality behind the curtain" by Tamler Sommers, chapter 2, page 43-44).
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