i'm in the hospital with nephew. i peak under his snap jammies and see red on his stomach, a mixture of blood and stitches, covered with tape. i hold a towel under his mouth as he throws up repeatedly, and he's hardly crying because he doesn't have the extra air, and when he finishes he sticks his thumb back in his mouth and rubs his fingers across his nose. he doesn't cry. occasionally he whimpers and reaches for his stuffed monkey, but mostly he is still and silent. unusual for a two-year-old.
just now i smiled at him and he smiled back, laughed even, and i wonder where his happiness is coming from, what depths or reserves he draws from, or if it is just there, on the surface.
watching him makes me think of God. how does He look down?
seeing how bravely nephew manages and has managed his whole life, i wonder how capable he is of self-pity: is that something he'll learn as he grows or does he feel it now, that awareness that he is different from other kids, from other people, and why, God, me? i don't think he does.
i hope to be more like nephew.
in other words: i feel blessed beyond my capacity to merit.
7 comments:
I'm so sorry... what a sweet little two year old and what a sweet post.
Aw, I hope said nephew is doing ok. It breaks my heart when children have to go through so much in such a short span of life.
Very sweet, kids are so powerful. Hope all goes well with Peter. Jane is an amazing mother. (& you aunt)
Peter (and fam) is continually in my prayers. love you
Wow, Catherine. So eloquently put - as always. Peter is strong. It is humbling.
What a little trouper. Poor baby.
That breaks my heart! He is such a sweetie. I pray that he gets better each day and that Ben and Jane can take him home!
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