Labrynthine Sentence

I'm on an embarrassing/awkward story kick. Here is one of my best.

I often chuckle when the phrase "most embarrassing moment" is brought up in conversation; not because I find my own experience particularly humorous (though it is), and not because I find the experiences of others humorous either (thought they usually are too)--no, I chuckle because I know that my story is top-notch when it comes to embarrassment factor (my past story-sharing experience showing me that my story blows most competition out of the water); top-notch from my ridiculous green spandex shorts to the too-good-to-not-be-out-of-a-movie situation of school-wide toilet out-age, hence the four portapotties out back, one of which I peed behind; from my bashful approach of the secretary's desk (for how, exactly, do you, a fourth-grader, let a seemingly ancient woman know that you have peed your green spandex shorts?) to the unbearable drive home in the principal's car--all embarrassment culminating in the final question: should I take the paper towels I've been sitting on or leave them with Principal (not to be confused with principle; remember, your principal is your pal) LaMalfa?

The above is all one sentence. That should explain why it was hard to read. I had to do this exercise in class today--I recommend it for a good time. 192 words. One sentence.